Hello, Bagong Nanay!
How are you? I know iba-iba ang struggles natin bilang nanay. And by sharing our unique stories and experiences, we inspire and empower other nanays that they are not alone in this journey.
Yaaan ang objective ng Bagong Nanay. Our goal is to serve as a platform to reach more moms who might be struggling because indeed, the struggle is real.
For our #KuwentongBagongNanay, I am honored to share the story of Mommy Honey Quiambao-Iresare. She is known on social media as The Mom of Hyper Kids. Isa siya sa mga first supporters ng Bagong Nanay since 2019, and lagi ko siya nakaka-message about mom life and struggles lalo na sa gabi, pag tulog na ang mga bata.
I invited her to share her story because it’s also her advocacy to help Bagong Nanays who are going through the same – in her words – surviving the menace.
She is a mom of two girls, who both have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD. And it’s very timely because October is ADHD awareness month.
Read on, and find out how it’s like to be a mom of hyper kids.
1. What’s a day in your life like, as a mom of kids with ADHD?
Stressed. Hahaha. And still overwhelmed.
I wake up at 4am to prepare to go to the wet market by 5am, para makaiwas sa madaming tao dahil pandemic. I will then prepare breakfast. Minsan full breakfast, pero minsan sapat na yung pandesal and egg with mayonnaise or butter. Request nila madalas yun.
From 8am to 12:30pm, nagbabantay ako sa mga bagets habang class nila, kasi usually they do Alt-Tabbing (or shifting tabs) to play rather than to listen to their class, lalo na yung bunso ko.
Then, we will have lunch, and I will prep for my hubby naman kasi may pasok siya ng afternoon. I will prepare food and set up his workplace. Then, nap time for the kids. Minsan nakikisabay ako, or yun na yung time na pupunta ako sa grocery or mall to run errands or to check the renovations being done in our apartment.
Dinner time, then magtuturo ako sa kids sa homework nila. Advanced lessons. Usually gumagawa na ako ng reviewer nila and practice exams para pag exam week na nila, meron kaming sample test at hindi na sila mahihirapan mag-review.
Then, patutulugin ko na sila. It takes 3 hours bago sila makatulog kasi mataas ang energy level nila. Pag tulog na sila, doon palang ako makakapaglinis ng house.
Thankful naman ako kasi yung sister ng hubby ko nakakatulong ko na sa bahay. Kami din nagpalaki sa kanya since baby siya kaya medyo magaan na din ngayon routine ko unlike dati as in kulang na kulang ako sa time.
Tapos sa gabi dun ako gagawa ng content ko lalo na pag merong projects. Then sa free time ko, binge-watching habang nagtutupi ng damit. And doing budgeting for the day.
Mahilig talaga ako mag multi-tasking, nakasanayan ko na talagang ganun, minsan nag-o-online games din ako pero saglit lang. More on MMORPG games ko.
Basta ang hindi ko dapat makalimutan for myself is skin care, lalo na at lagi akong puyat. Importante sa akin na maganda pa din ang skin ko.
2. Can you share briefly how you found out that your child has ADHD? What were your observations and how was it like when you sought professional help for the first time?
Actually, it was not me who discovered it. Super proud pa nga ako sa first-born ko kasi as early of 6 months, she can do phonetics, count numbers 1-20, binabaliktad pa nga niya. She can do it.
Ang hindi lang niya magawa is to construct sentences at age of 1 or 2. Tapos she can’t stay at one place. She has a fleeting eye contact. She can’t focus on you, pero if you ask her, she can answer you right away with correct answers.
Her pedia was the one who noticed that, and she recommended to consult a development pediatrician (Dev Ped). Then my daughter was under observation until she was 3 years old. She was confirmed to have slight autism. Her IQ is two steps ahead of her age. The concerns were her EQ and social skills.
Then my youngest child, although we suspected that she might just be mimicking her ate, had the same signs. She is far more hyperactive than her ate. High level ADHD. She also has a high IQ.
But these are all now being corrected through their ongoing Occupational Therapy sessions. It really helps them. I also engage them in activities where they can channel their energy, and teach them to socialize.
As a mom of hyper kids, I use social media to share our journey, which made me somehow an advocate of ADHD parenting. I also love to give advice to parents of kids with ADHD, who are in the state of denial and confusion.Mommy Honey Quiambao Iresare for bagongnanay.com
3. What are the unspoken struggles of being a mom of kids with ADHD?
Sometimes, I wish I were invisible.
I find it very challenging already to discipline my kids, then add the pressure and judgment coming from other people. Also the burden of educating others who don’t understand what ADHD is.
For my kids, I need to be smarter than them. Haha. They have the tendency to use their wit and brains, including their charms to get what they want.
I also struggle when they are having anxiety attacks and self-pity. Especially when people avoid them or are scared of them because they think my kids will hurt them. My eldest is scared of being left behind. She is sensitive to rejection.
For now, pina-practice ko sila to do things just like other kids do. Doing chores, letting them make decisions, and helping each other kasi ang mindset ko is they need to know how to survive in the real world. Ngayon, marunong na sila mag-saing at mag-prito.
Ang mindset ko is they need to know how to survive in the real world.Mommy Honey Quiambao Iresare
4. What or who helped you go through this journey? List your top 3.
I am grateful for my uncle and my aunt, who help me take care of my kids. They spoil my kids with so much love and affection
I am also grateful for their occupational therapist, Teacher Gids, who doesn’t give up on them. Especially at the time that I almost gave up, he guides me on how to manage them. He even talks to my kids even outside of their class.
Finally, I’m grateful to my cousins and relatives, who always check on my kids and me as well.
5. What’s your message to other Bagong Nanays who might have children with ADHD?
Have more patience! When talking to your kids, learn how to negotiate. Encourage your kids that they will be and do better.
If you feel that you need to talk or ask advice from a Dev Ped about your child, then do so. It helps.
Finally, remember that you do not owe other people an explanation for your situation. Never explain yourself to others. I have failed on this, but it’s a learning process.
6. In only six words, describe what kind of Bagong Nanay you are.
Fun-loving. Advisor. Warrior. Sometimes rule-follower, sometimes rule-breaker.
I am Honey Quiambao-Iresare from Quezon City.
I am the Bagong Nanay of Izai (11 years old) and Mamai (9 years old).
When I’m not being an all-around wife and nanay and tutor to my kids, I spend my time on online gaming, watching KDrama, writing, reading, cross-stitching, hanging out, unwinding, and sleeping.